It is official.  Lisa and I have booked rooms in Nashville, TN for the Biggest Loser 10 casting call.  We are driving 7 hours so I can try and dazzle someone in about 2 minutes and I am freaking terrified…  I know we shouldn’t put a lot of stock in what most people think, but these are gatekeepers to the show and my goal in the next week and a half is to decide how to show them who I am in 2 minutes or less.

The big thing is that I know… I TRULY know deep down in my heart this is where I need to be.  Every year, I feel a tug on my heart to go to a casting call, but I dismiss it due to fear of failure.  I dismiss it because I didn’t want another person to not choose me, pick me, or tell me I am not good enough.  I know how many people audition and only a handful get the opportunity to actually participate in the show.  This year I am saying $%&^ YOU to failure.  I don’t care if they throw me out of the room because they are bored with me.  I am going not only to try and get on the show, I am going to prove to myself I am rightly on the journey to overcome the notion that I am dominated by such things.

I have spent my entire life… my ENTIRE life dominated by fears and repercussions of not being liked, loved, accepted, chosen, etc.  That is one of the reasons I gave up music, conducting, and performing.  I couldn’t handle the fact that others were better and some may not prefer me.  I have always lay blame to an old professor of mine (who still said I was too fat to conduct), but I have to place blame upon myself as well.  I allowed others to push me to this point.  And I gave them permission to “make” me feel instead of me choosing how to feel about something. I don’t know what the outcome may be next week.  Hell, there may be soo many people that I don’t even get a chance to see anyone, but the trip will hopefully be another step for me in conquering my biggest opponent, which ironically is not my weight, but actually myself.

So, now I need your help.  If you were given two minutes to explain to someone why to give you an opportunity to change your life, what would you do… or even better, tell me what to say… yeah.. help me :)