So this is it… the second year of my weight loss journey.  5 months ago, I would have told you I would be in the 200′s, but life does make this all a little difficult :) .  I will not complain as I have made some great progress on and off the scale.  Losing weight is not only about the size of your body, but also the mental, emotional, spiritual and idiomatic characteristics that come with living an obese lifestyle.  If it were just losing weight, I believe that this would all be simpler.  I have gone through much transition this past year, and even though I have only lost a total of 60 pounds, my life has been impacted in many ways.  I believe this will be a long post, so I hope you can stick with me :)

First, I want to do my weight screenshot.  The miracle here is that I didn’t gain any weight during the holiday season.  Started in mid December at 359 and weight in on Jan 4th at 359.  That is a great thing for me as I know during Thanksgiving, I ate more than humanly possible.  This was a real confidence booster.  I know that I can take holidays in stride and while I can indulge, I must also expend more energy.  So below is confirming proof of my weight on Jan 4.

359 pounds on January the 4th at 5:00 PM.  I started my journey at 420 pounds on December of 2008.  In one year, I have lost 60 pounds.  While I was down a total of 90 pounds at one point, life kicked me a couple of times…  And I have to understand that will continue.  My next challenge is perseverance.  To allow myself to push harder than I have before.  I need to know it will take more than a random amount of motivation to keep me on track.  This is the second most important thing I have learned this past year.  YOU!  The people who have been with me during this entire journey.

My wife and son have pushed me harder than I could think.  In December of 2008, I couldn’t get out of bed.  I would lay and sob because of my state of life.  I truly didn’t want to go on.  I think if I hadn’t been to lazy from being Obese, I may not even be here.  Lisa and I talk about it briefly at times, but never really say straightly that I was THAT bad off, but honestly if I hadn’t changed, my life was over.  Somehow that month changed things.  If you read from the beginning of my blog, you can see how I started promoting my life instead of how much life had put me down.  I will always be thankful for that push.  Lucas and Lisa  have continued to provide motivation to continue.  I wish there were words to describe the love I have for them.  They have saved my life… not only that they gave it back to me.  Written word, spoken speech, or any other idiom can’t express how much I love them.

Secondly, my friends and family have supported me throughout this as well. My friends have sent me wonderful messages of support.  They have stuck with me even when I have gone crazy or broken down.  They are patient when I eat unwisely, but firm when it comes to additional sabotage.

And finally, I have met so many people online in this virtual campaign toward improved health and wellness.  There are too many wonderful inspirations to list in one website.  Through twitter and such, I have been connected to a web of real individuals who aren’t trying to sell me the “lose weight now” pill for only 9.95 (plus s/h), or the “dream being thin weight loss package” for 2 gazzillion dollars.  These are real people on a real journey to enLIGHTenment.

So now as I start the second round of this battle vs that which shall not be named, I know that I am armed with the tools, resources and foundation to succeed.  I am improving my knowledge and pushing myself to learn to cook healthy not just for me, but my family.  I am starting to look at this as not only a journey to complete alone, but one that I need to include Lisa and Lucas in as well.  I have to admit, I love Biggest Loser, and when Danny went home and his wife talked about him not needing them, that hit hard for me.  I don’t ever want my family to think that I can do ANYTHING without them, because if Lisa and Lucas were not with me, I would crumble…. no doubt in my mind.  I want Round 2 to become the Hill Family vs the Fat…  Together we can conquer it… I know it.

And as a final hope, I want to start pushing things to the forefront to motivate me… and life has been precious enough to give one of the best forms of motivation available.

We have been trying for a second child for a while.  I knew when I started I didn’t want to have another child at my weight.  I will NEVER forgive myself for losing out on the first 2 years of the life of Lucas.  I feel like I was furniture that just sat around.  I don’t ever want to return there.  Even now, only 60 pounds down, I do more and interact more with him that I ever thought I would be able to.  When I started to feel confident in this process we started and were blessed with another child.  Lisa is due July 14th (one day after our anniversary), and we are about to hit week 13.

We just told Lucas on Christmas day, and we recorded his expression.  He was quite excited and I hope to post the video on here soon.  I am excited and terrified at the same time.  It will be another journey… but one I am most willing to start.  This gives me 7 months… 7 months to literally work my ass off.  I am going to print out the ultrasound and have it with me at all times to keep that in the forefront of my mind.  I beg you to push me and kick me if needed to get me going.    I would love to lose at LEAST another 60 pounds by the birth.  That will finally put me in the 200′s for the first time since middle school.  I know I can do it… we will be minimizing bills and such, so I will be leaving the gym and all, but I am going to work out at home and do jogging outside.  If you know of any trainers that are looking to train for free, give them my name.  I will shout their praises on here (Thanks Shan for the idea).

Phew… a lot to write and much more to process, but I knew you would stick with me… you always do.  I love you all and look forward to speaking with you.  You have my permission to kick me, call me names, throw things at me and spread rumors to keep me going!   Have a wonderful Tuesday!