A new beginning… to rise up again!
Wow, it has been over a month since I have posted. In fact it has been a month since I have even visited my page. This has mostly been out of disgust or shame. As we all know it is easy to write when you are experiencing successes, but hard as hell to get on here and be blazon about life beating you down and failing. I shouldn’t be so negative, I should say I learned a LOT of ways how NOT to lose weight this month.
My last post was my 5K… a pinnacle experience for me. After I completed it, it was like my switch just turned off. Soon everything got in the way and was more important than my journey. In many ways, they were, but I used them as an excuse to indulge and indulge and then eat more…. and then more… you get the picture.
So as the phoenix rises from the ashes, I hope to mount a second attack in the war of terror…..rizing weight gain. I stepped on the scale yesterday and actually got teary eyed because of how much I had gained. It goes on SOOOOO fast. Thirty (30) pounds have been packed back on my body in just a month. When I think about how long it took me to shed those, it makes me angry as well. I can’t believe I would let myself lose my motivation when I came so far. I know this yo-yo happens frequently, but I can’t let it become the status quo for me. I have to call upon all the people I have talked to during the journey to keep pushing me. My friend nat sent me a very motivating message. At first I dismissed it as if she didn’t know what I was going through… she knows exactly (and more) the situations I am in. She has lived and defeated it and I am inspired by her. Other individuals have contacted me through Twitter and such to show support in this time. My family is still here for me. I have to believe they see something that I had missed. I almost counted myself out. I almost decided that maybe I wasn’t worth it… but I AM and so are the people standing behind me.
There are also other factors I can not share now that have given me motivation. I hope to divulge those as time marches on.. but now, I hope to reinvigorate my spirit in this weight loss journey and turn back the clock for a time in which I could conquer all. I so want to get in the car and drive to Willow Springs (1 hour away) to speak to Daniel from Biggest Loser, but first I need his permission and 2 I need to learn how to do this on my own.
Thanks for being here for me. This was a quick post and I want to write more details later… I love you all.
Oh and one more thing. I am going to post real pics of my weight loss from now on. Previously it was too easy to shed half a pound off the weight I input in the tracker to show my progress. It is all about accountability.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:55 pm
I’m never not going to be a pain in the ass to you – just thought I’d share that with you – it’s because I know exactly what it’s like, and I know what it’s like to almost lose my life because I stopped or let myself go. You can and will do this – because there is just too much on the line for you and your beautiful family.
There are a lot of people who care about you – but in the end, none of that matter – you must care about yourself enough.
BTW – I’ve got 42 people in my online group… so I’ll see you there. There are a bunch of folks who I know would support you.
We’re going to run that race together one day!
December 2nd, 2009 at 2:45 pm
I’m with ya brother. We’re getting back on the horse at the same time. There’s likely not enough room for us to share a saddle, but I’m with ya all the same.
Keep blogging, whatever your motivation, and we’ll be here to help kick your ass or give you a pat on the back.
Cheers, Rick
December 4th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
The most important thing is that you recognized what was happening and you stopped it in its tracks. You can do this Sam Hill. I know you can. Because you have been doing it. Do not give up. This is seriously hard work (as you well know) and there will be set backs. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t give up. You will get there. You’re already on your way.
December 7th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
i really appreciate what you posted. its one of the reasons i don’t post my stuff on my blog – its too tough to face when things are tough. but you are worth it and its worth being healthy. here’s to all that work you’ve done…and you will do!
peace to you!
holly
December 10th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
I have been and to a degree am there, Sam. I would shed weight over summers or when I had a partner to work out with and then put it back on at school. One of the worst things I can remember is leaving Gold’s, going back to Kent, putting back on most of the weight that I had lost and then returning again and watching the looks on people’s faces. And yes, you do think about the lost work.
My progress this time back has been slower but I’ve been going to the gym consistently for well over a year now and making gains, if more slowly than I would like. Recently, I had a progress evaluation from my trainer that I didn’t like and that has really pushed me in recent weeks. Here’s the biggest hint that I can give you for what’s been helping me stay much more consistent this time around: gym activities that I really enjoy and multiple friends there who will ask about me if I don’t show up. For me, it’s the last thing I though would EVER attract me to the gym…aerobics class. My Gold’s has all kinds, but I found I like the step and dance classes the best. I went through a period ten or eleven months ago where I was really tired and unmotivated, but I always showed up to my training sessions and classes, probably due to the teachers and other people in them as much as anything.
So my first recommendation is to find activities you enjoy that have enough variety in them to keep you challenged (Les Mills, the program my gym uses, releases new ‘launches’ – choreography – for each class about every quarter and they get steadily more challenging). If there is a supportive teacher and group of people involved that you look forward to seeing, so much the better.
Sorry if this is a long comment, but I thought I would share as somebody who has been on and off the wagon a couple of times since I started at RU what has kept me at the gym for the longest period of time now. All best and if there is anything else I can help with, please Facebook me (I barely check Twitter anymore).
Quick post script: My trainer sent me to my first aerobics class. I REALLY didn’t expect to like it. Now you can’t keep me out of the group fitness studio.
December 15th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
It’s a process. It goes up and down. You had a down spiral and you stopped it. Good. Now you’re on your way back up.